Wait what did you just say?
by the-caffeine-junkiie-reviewer
Summary: Post movie: Jack's been hanging around teenagers for the first time in 300 years and it's rubbing off on him. Que hilarity and confused Guardians. Quick giggle fix.


Just a little idea that wouldn't leave my brain alone. Starting uni in 3 days and I'm writing Rotg fanfiction… I regret nothing.

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Jack had been changing ever since Jaime hit puberty. It was the little things the Guardians noticed. A white lie here, an accidental gust of wind under a girl's skirt there… and a stint of swearing (that North had put a VERY quick stop to)

It didn't take them long to realise that Jack was living vicariously through the boy, experiencing what he would have been through once before, but wouldn't remember. To be able to actually interact with teenagers for the first time in 300 years rather than just passing them by was having a big impact on the newest Guardian.

North had laughed when they'd realised just what was going on.

"Is lucky he is only playing pretend, yes?"

Bunnymund rolled his eyes.

"Of all the…bloody nutjob. If he gets the moodiness going on I'll be knocking some sense into him quick smart."

Tooth giggled,

"I think it's cute. And it will help Jaime through the whole thing, don't you think?"

Sandy had fallen over in silent laughter, legs kicking in the air.

But it wasn't until North's Christmas Party that they learnt just how much this was going to impact all of them.

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North's workshop was alive with music, dancing and laughter. Elves ran underfoot with food and drinks while Yeti's worked security and danced. Well...mostly danced since it was only the four guardians and Pitch.

The Nightmare King looked about as happy to be there as the Yeti's watching him did. He was standing in a dark corner away from the table the others sat around, sipping Eggnog that Sandy had forced into his hand earlier.

Sandy was sitting at the right hand of North, cracker party hat askew as he rubbed his belly, looking happy and sleepy as he listened to North telling a rather dramatic story.

Bunnymund was sitting beside him, interjecting into the tale here and there. He and North argued over details as the Pooka recounted his own, and in his opinion _right_, version of the story.

Tooth was across from him, laughing at the two as she braved the desserts. It was her night off, having left Baby Tooth in charge, so she was letting her hair down. Well…trying to.

"So much sugar…"

North boomed with laughter just as the window beside them opened and Jack floated in.

"Jack!"

"Jack!"

"Well, look who finally decided to show up."

Jack grinned, the wind pulling the window shut behind him as he perched on top of his staff next to North.

"Looks like I came last."

North laughed,

"Is no matter, plenty of room for you Jack! Come, sit!"

The winter spirit looked over to see Pitch in the corner. He looked surprised for a moment before grinning,

"Hey Pitch. Still lurking around dark crevices I see."

The Boogeyman ignored him. Shrugging, Jack jumped off of his staff and pulled up a chair next to Tooth.

"Hey Tooth, I-Ngghh."

He had to mumble around her fingers as she peered in his mouth.

"Oh Jack, perfect as always!"

He massaged his jaw, raising an eyebrow.

"You know there's more to my mouth than just my teeth."

She grinned, fluttering for a moment as she squealed.

"Oh I know! The palate, the uvula, the adenoids! It's all so exciting."

North laughed. Jack poked his tongue out at him, wrinkling his nose.

"Tooth sure gets excited talking about oral."

Bunnymund blinked,

"Wait…did you just say…"

Jack turned to him.

"So Bunny, how's things down under?"

The Pooka frowned. It seemed like an innocent question. But the look on Jack's face (that he'd had since he came in) was similar to the one he got when he was about to launch a snowball into an unsuspecting back.

"What are you up to, Frostbite?"

"Up? Nothing's up. Not yet anyway." Before the Pooka could answer, he turned to Sandy.

"Hey Sandy. Keep those dreams dry last night?"

Bunnymund's mouth fell open, eyes bugging out.

"N-now wait a minute!"

But Sandy was answering Jack, images of rain and the San Francisco Bridge appearing over his head.

A chair scraped against the floor and the Guardian's turned to see Pitch taking a seat at the end.

North looked overjoyed.

"Pitch! You have decided to join us! This is happy occasion!"

The Nightmare King looked nonchalant.

"Hardly. It's as simple as one can only remain erect for so long."

Bunnymund looked between Jack and Pitch in horror. The two looked no different to normal. And the others didn't seem to notice anything amiss.

"Is anyone else _hearing_ this?"

North blinked.

"What are you talking about?"

Tooth looked confused and cocked her head to the side, listening.

"What does it sound like?"

Bunnymund spluttered.

North tapped his chin, looking out the window.

"Bunny has the better hearing. Maybe elves are doing carols?"

Jack cocked his head, as if listening for it as well.

"Jingle bells? Yes please."

Tooth blinked,

"Are you alright Bunny? You don't look well."

Pitch nodded.

"Frost you must be too close, he looks positively _stiff_."

Jack sent him a sly grin.

"Then we should switch positions."

The two changed chairs. Bunnymund blinked a few times before he promptly pushed his food out of the way and thumped his head on the table.

North laughed, reaching over to clap a hand on his shoulder.

"Look, is just tired. Cannot be overworked. Easter is far off. You have relaxing time off."

Bunnymund opened his mouth to bite back, just to be cut off by Jack.

"Yeah. Must be hard only coming once a year."

Tooth frowned before shaking her head, convinced she'd imagined it.

But when Pitch shot back with,

"Harder being at it every night."

She turned bright red.

North interjected, waving off the jibe.

"Pitch, I am very glad you have decided to join us…"

"At the table, _only_."

"Yes…but it has been awhile since you've been to a party, yes?"

Pitch smirked, picking up a new eggnog.

"I am no novice at group sessions, North. I would save your concern for Frost. Do you think he'll be able to handle all these people at once?"

Jack, who had been sipping Eggnog, sprayed it everywhere, his choking barely covering the laughter that erupted.

Which was lucky, as it distracted North who looked positively livid at what Pitch had said.

"Jack! Jack!"

He rushed over and thumped the boy on the back so hard that he crashed to the floor, still caught between laughing and choking to death.

"Ah! Jack! Apologies, my friend!"

Pitch sipped his Eggnog casually, looking at the scene.

"He's still choking North, maybe you should back up a bit?"

Jack collapsed onto the floor completely, laughing so hard he was holding his stomach and had tears running down his face.

North blinked and backed off, looking between the two then to everyone else.

"Okay, I am missing something here."

Bunnymund rolled his eyes,

"As I was _trying_ to tell you."

Tooth was red as a tomato, hand covering her mouth but shoulders shaking as she giggled.

Sandy just grinned sleepily.

North turned to Pitch, frowning. The boogeyman gave him a smug look. North frowned, cracking his knuckles he approached.

"What did you do to Jack?"

The Boogeyman snorted as the winter spirit tried to get up, gripping the table, but as soon as he saw Pitch's face he collapsed into hysterics again.

Looking back to North he looked bored.

"It's as simple as your newest _member_," Jack howled even harder, "learning the subtle art of the double entendre."

North frowned,

"No…I was not hearing…"

Then he turned red.

"Oh. OH."

"Oh yes, the Frost has learnt to dirty talk. Have fun with that."

Standing, Pitch looked around at the red faced Guardians.

"Well. This was certainly more enjoyable than I anticipated. I look forward to next year."

He dissolved into the shadows, a chuckle echoing around the walls in his wake.

Jack pulled himself up to peer over the edge of the table. The other Guardians looked angry, but mostly embarrassed beyond belief. He grinned innocently at them.

"So am I still on the nice list? I promise my stocking is well hung."

North face palmed.

"You are definitely on naughty list."

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The End :D


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